At one point I thought 2 things about self care….one is that it is this long process that you set aside a huge amount of time to do and two….it is selfish to spend time on yourself. WOW was I wrong on both of those accounts! As I go along on this journey to bringing the inner vision/version of me into reality the more I see how silly that thought process was. I have learned so much over the last 8 years of life and am grateful for it.
I know now that self care can be as small as being in the moment you take that first sip of coffee or tea in the morning. It can be simply removing yourself from a situation even if only for a few seconds to regroup and refocus. Asking for help is a form of self care. Sometimes it is even just simply saying “No.” I know now that self care is actually one of the most unselfish things I can do because the more I take care of myself, the more I say no, and the more I ask for help, all means the more I can do for others in the end.
As a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist, I really appreciate the ability to say no and to just start and move forward towards progress that leads me to bringing that in which I see for myself and my life into reality. By allowing myself the time I need to regroup, just be, ask for help, and by saying no, it allows my battery to recharge and I can do and give so much more than I did before and in ways I may not have been able to otherwise.
Let me ask this, how often is your day, week, weekends, or year so booked with events that it is almost or no longer enjoyable, and it feels like you are always going to no end without any rest? I used to do this thinking I was living life, but honestly I was just constantly worn out and super exhausted mentally and physically. The thought of one more thing was too much and doing the things I once loved was starting to become just one more thing on the To Do list.
It isn’t always easy learning how to say no, but this is in fact a way of self care that we really don’t think about and need way more than realized. Once I started to say no and started to be more accountable to myself and giving to myself as much as I gave to others, I noticed things changed. They are mostly little changes, but man how those little changes have added up and continue to add up. Most importantly is how it has affected my relationships for the better.
One of the best changes is the relationships with my husband, kids, and my loved ones. I can hold so much more appreciation for them because I now hold appreciation for myself. It has been something that has brought us closer together and brought a deeper meaning to all my relationships which I am so grateful for.
Self care is far from selfish, and again is one of the best things I started doing for myself. Back when I started this journey, I don’t think I could have ever been able to imagine the difference in learning to start saying “No.” would have. Saying no to others, events, and yes, even myself has been such a big turning point and it hasn’t always been an easy thing to do. With that being said, it has however been a key component to my self care and moving forward in a healthier way.
Let this be a reminder to you to do what you need in order to take care of yourself and recharge. As long as it doesn’t cause harm to yourself or others and comes from the heart, then do it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!! Start saying “No.” to the things that don’t feed you and your soul and start holding and creating space for the things that do. You will be amazed over time as you look back and see just what a difference it does make and how much more you have for yourself and others to give.
Much Love & Light Always!
