One of the books I have read recently was the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and I think it is a book everyone should read. It has truly helped me to recognize the different ways that we speak, receive, and show love. This in turn has really helped me with the relationships around me and in my life. It showed me how many relationship issues could stem from simply just not knowing and recognizing how the other person in the relationship speaks, receives, and shows love.
Here are the 5 Love Languages Gary Lists in the book:
Words of Affirmations
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
At the end of the book there is a quiz that you take and when finished it shows you your primary love language. For me my primary love language is Acts of Service and my secondary language is Physical Touch. For my husband his primary language is Physical Touch and his secondary is Quality Time. What this simply means is that I receive love when someone does something for me and especially when it isn’t something they enjoy doing but do it because they know it will show me love. Chris and I both got physical touch as one of our love languages and this doesn’t just mean what most think of. It simply means a kiss on the cheek when walking by, a hand on the shoulder when moving pass, a spontaneous hug and an I love you are the perfect little acts that show us our love to one another.
What this has been able to teach me I believe is invaluable for the simple fact that it allows us to now see how we speak love and to be able to receive it in ways that are beneficial to our relationship. Before I would feel like I was doing so much to show love and it would just end in frustration. Now I can recognize that it wasn’t mine or his efforts that were the problem, it wasn’t working out because it just simply isn’t the way he or I communicates. This then can lead to feeling all kinds of unnecessary emotions. Now I can see that even though that is how I may receive love, it isn’t how he does and vice versa.
I know now that if I want to show him love then physical touch or quality time spent is the way to go. It also saves so much energy when you aren’t doing things for others that really don’t show them the love you are trying to express. Yesterday was a prime example of being able to receive love in a way that truly meant so much to me now that we know how each other speaks and receives. I was not feeling my best and was in bed all day and I just kept thinking about what I was supposed to be doing rather than laying in bed getting the rest I clearly needed. There was grocery shopping to do, the dishes that need to be done, you know the everyday stuff we do in life.
Not only did Chris do the dishes for me but he and our daughter went and took care of the grocery shopping along with getting it all put away. The fact that this man is not a fan of doing the shopping, but could see I clearly wasn’t going to be going myself and that we couldn’t really go another day without going, he went. He has done the shopping before, don’t get me wrong it just isn’t something he is too fond of. But for me he did it so I would be able to just give my mind and body the rest it was clearly needing. This meant the world to me! I made sure to tell him how much I appreciated him doing those things for me because that also makes a big difference in the relationship as well. When we get acknowledgement the little kid in us gets super excited and it makes us want to do things like that more.
Chris and I have been very blessed in our relationship and how close we are and how much love we have for each other. This book has just leveled us up to be even closer than before and love in a way that truly honors one another and our relationship. After almost 30 years of being together and seeing how far we’ve come, and now reading this book and having that information as a tool to just make us skyrocket even further is so exciting to me.
My wish for you is that you grab the book and read it and see how it can change your world and the relationships around you.
Much Love & Light Always!
